8 Things They Didn't Tell You About Starting a Coffee Place
The grind of the 9-to-5 is driving you mad. You're aching for something more, something rich and full-bodied like... well, like the perfect cup of coffee! And that's it, isn't it? Your escape plan glimmers before you in the form of your very own coffee haven where the scent of freshly roasted beans wafts through the air attracting the dreamers, the creatives, and the weary workers desperate to escape their own grind.
But apocalyptic levels of caffeine won't be enough to prepare you for the realities of running a coffee house. Instead, let me play your friendly neighbourhood barista, serving you some harsh but essential truths, topped with a generous cinnamon drizzle of humour of course.
Let's grind the beans of experience, pour the hot water of reality over them and see what brews. Here are 8 things they never told you about starting a coffee joint. Only add sugar if you think you can handle it. Welcome to the less glamorous, but ultimately fascinating world of coffee entrepreneurship. Let's dive right in.
1. For the Love of Coffee, Has Anyone Seen my Créme Brûlée?
Here's the grand paradox that no one tells potential café owners: You might have spent countless hours sourcing the perfect blend of organic, fair-trade Bolivian beans, only to discover that your customers are less concerned with your remarkable roast and more eager to find out if you offer that adorable avocado toast they saw on Instagram. Yes, toast! Your customers are paradoxically particular about their food offerings as they juggle their lactose-free, sugar-free macchiatos.
2. Coffee, That Unfaithful Lover: The Side Piece Called Revenue Diversification
Brace yourself, the betrayal runs deeper. Conventional wisdom whispers sweetly that your regular sales will come from your artfully prepared, handcrafted coffees. Turns out, she's a deceptive mistress. Your delicious, labour-of-love brew could count for a fraction of your revenue. The dough or, better put, doughnuts, the lattes topped with hand-whisked almond milk, or the triple-decker grilled panini could end up being your main financial squeeze.
3. Baristas: Sweet Mother of Latte Find Me a Good One!
The smile behind the counter is making or breaking your business. The art of hiring a good barista requires that they know how to make all manor of coffees, have unwaveringly excellent customer service skills, an Art degree is a bonus (ever tried latte art?), and can function at astonishing speeds at 6 a.m. while maintaining that hipster-cool attitude. Not much to ask... right?
4. The Real Estate Rumble: Picking the Perfect Spot:
Turns out, "Location, Location, Location" isn't just a redundant phrase real estate agents use to sound important. Your coffee shop's address could be the make-or-break factor of your caffeine empire. Pick an obscure corner and you may start noticing even your mum has mysteriously developed a taste for the insipid brew at 'Super Generic Coffee Corp', conveniently located "on the way to her Zumba class." The ideal location melds visibility, accessibility, and that x-factor that makes people want to come in.
5. Creating the Patron Saint of Your Shop: The Regular:
In secret coffee shop lore, every 'Regular' is actually a noble, espresso-sipping guardian, their consistent orders acting like a lifeline to your business’ heartbeat and your bills are depending on it. Underestimate them, and they might become just a myth, whispered among the empty tables of your café. Cultivate an environment that is inviting, inspiring, and just the right amount about comfort for those seeking their daily brew, and you've found the secret recipe for creating Regulars. Too much and you have the mums that stay there all day with one cup, so their little darling doesn't destroy their furniture.
6. The Great Bean Hunt: Your New Role as a Green Bean Spy:
'Bean there, done that' takes an entirely new meaning as you plunge into sourcing your own coffee beans. Forget bedtime tales; you'll be narrating the epic saga of your bean's journey from organic, fair-trade farms to the customer's cup to an utterly fascinated (or horrified) audience of opinionated college students. Be prepared for late-night stakeouts at suppliers' warehouses and unexpected detective work to ensure your café is serving espressos that are both ethically sound and tastebud-approved ...but it doesn't matter where the milk came from.
7. You Will Become the Human-Powered Espresso Machine
Owning a coffee shop will mean early mornings and late nights. It takes more grind than your best French press to keep things running. Be prepared for wearing all the hats—in house cleaner (yes we mean the toilets), barista, cashier, supplies manager—especially in the early days. Oh and therapist, because Pippa called (It's Friday BTW) and said her cat sneezed and farted at the same time so she is not going to make it into work today because she is worried that it's paws might fall off and no Hugo I don't think you're going to die from having worked out 7 times this week.
8. Competition is Fierce, so You Bring your A-Game
That well known generic coffee place, you know the one, has more storefronts than there are grains of sand on a beach (we might be exaggerating a bit, but you get the point). You need to differentiate yourself, provide insanely good service, and above all, know your target market. But you forget about those guys. Because each cup of coffee brewed, each early morning when you'd rather be snoring, each 'dead' weekday you keep your doors open contrary to all odds - they all uncovering a resilience you didn’t realize you had. Starting a coffee shop has a degree of grit and determination involved, a new gear that no one mentioned while you daydreamed about this venture. And when you close up each day you're realising that you are 'espresso-ly' amazing at bossing the hell out of this! Well... that and finding ways to get coffee terms into regular words.
And who says business can't be fun? Take the above with pinch of salt, we're just highlighting some of the possibly untolds about running a coffee place. To everyone else thinking about jumping into the piping hot world of coffee entrepreneurship, I salute you. Take these insights yes but charge on and boss it your way!
Stay grounded x
